The Ulitmate Punishment

Zeus strutted over to me today and bellowed, “Son of Iapetos, clever above all others, you are pleased at having stolen fire and outwitted me – a great calamity both for yourself and for men to come.  To set against the fire I shall give them an affliction in which they will all delight as they embrace their own misfortune.”  I was then thinking shit, this can’t be good.  But Nothing I could have imagined would have resulted in what happened next, Zeus created women.  Oh the terror! Those poor mortals will now experience the distraction, and hard ships of women in every day life.  Women; whom are un-fit for poverty, as they demand plenty, give nothing and eat all the honey and stuff.  He got Hephaestus to mix the earth with the water, and some crazy god chemical reaction happened that gave the maiden her figure, voice and strength.  It was pretty cool.  Athene taught her some crafts while Aphrodite threw charms on her head, and then Hermes came along and taught her painful yearning and obsession and made the maiden into a knavish natured bitch.  She was stunningly beautiful, but I am clever above all others and knew it for a trap.  Hermes named her Pandora, as if she is some kind of earth goddess, but then all the gods in Olympus gave her a gift, so it kind of made sense, if not awfully convenient.  Hermes then proceeded to take her over to Epimetheus (he was still holding that blasted hammer, I swear that will cause some confusion one day) and asked him to accept this gift from Zeus. Meanwhile I was all cocky thinking ‘ha-ha’ I told Epimetheus to not accept anything from Zeus so there’s no way he will do it and Zeus would have failed.  But my stupid brother could not stop think with his…you know, and accepted Pandora and doomed all mankind to her annoying behaviour for ever, while Hermes and Zeus stood there having a good giggle.